Mermaid Verse

music flows from lips and as words meet sound bound and found me, your eyes wide open, soul sprightly greeting thee….


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Mr. Wilson’s Thoughts Late Saturday Night (11-30-13) by Megan Seaman

“I don’t know where to begin. I asked the questions and no answer yet. Still waiting. I feel really gaseous. I just farted. I’m looking at the ember colored wall and have the Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young version of “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” in my head. I don’t know if it is CSNY or just Neil Young who created the song.  I think about this girl with glasses, this songbird, this creative soul about a million times a day. I keep wondering when she will call. And then even that question makes me sick. I feel, I think that I’m clinging to that idea – like clinging to a person. Like clinging to one person will make all my life happy forever. And I judge myself. So many judgments about how love is supposed to work, how people are supposed to notice each other, what kind of people date and get together with what type of people. And it aches my heart and makes me feel queasy inside. “Only love can break your heart/try to be sure right from the start.” Like one should try to control what love does to you. I once saw a clip from a movie I don’t remember what movie but a girl says to a guy that the most important thing to do in life is to fall in love and give your love. And the guy says, “no the most important thing in life is to get your heart broken over and over and over again.” That’s what makes life. I never thought about it that way.

I think we live in this ideal state – maybe it’s not we, maybe it’s just me – but we live in this ideal that we’ll find “the One” and then everything will be just dandy. And if it is already dandy then we’ll just be dandier. But if we follow the guy’s mantra “most important is to get your heart broken over and over again” then there’s a little more freedom in that. As if there isn’t one state of being, there are many possibilities – and to try them as they come up, rather than passing them by for some ideal. Not that I think people shouldn’t have ideals or dreams or goals or something to aspire to or some direction. On the contrary, I think that people do best when they have some place they’re pointed to and with effort and grace moving there. I think knowing what you want is half the battle. Knowing what you want helps you intentionally make decisions about how you want to spend your time, who you want to spend your time with, and where you want to be. It promotes motivation and perseverance toward something. However, getting so attached to some outcome (i.e., goal, aspiration, dream) can shift you out of the present moment where you need to be to see the steps that will take you to those ideals.

Keeping a wakeful eye on the future is so important, but even more imperative is our abilities to stay here-and-now. It’s really easy to say that, but harder to play out daily. That’s where the practice begins. Instead of being ruled by our feeling about what is going on in our lives, rather we could notice the thoughts – the habitual patterns of how we think, and then with intentionality choose the ones that bring us closer to our goals and release the ones that don’t serve us. Staying present allows us to see the signs, hear the songs, smell the roses, taste the nectar, and feel the closeness of everything we aspire to. On our journey to what we want, it’s the practice in falling down and getting our hearts annihilated that will Godspeed us to all that we dreamed. And so loving as long and wide as we can – even at the expense of a broken heart – might just break down the hardened walls around our love, and let the true self shine.” – Megan Marie Seaman

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Shed this Skin (9-21-13) by Megan Seaman

the snarl for the end.

the snarl for the end.

“Tangled hair once silken

Now brittle layered in

between oil and skin flakes

animal skin

flaking

flaking

mistaking

the snarl for the end.

 

She reached her fingers in

Toward the pit

and ran

them through

silk and mane

pain

pain

of skin scabby cracked surface.

 

The purpose of this dermis

And the shedding of matter

No longer needed

For her journey coat

Broke

Broke

Choked

on the matted hair that pulled.

 

Shed this skin

Shed this skin

Shed this skin

 

Voice, body, and soul whispered

 

Shed this skin

Shed this skin

Shed this skin” – Megan Marie Seaman


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Boxed Up (7-30-2012) by Megan Seaman

Cat in a box

“In the clutter and clatter

Of old clanking things

I stumbled upon

Battered boxes dusty

From their own decay

I couldn’t help myself

From pulling them open to discover

Lost memories hidden away

In dirty depths were

The pages of twenty-two

Years past, and they unfolded a path

Taking me back

Down treacherous road

Full of broken glass and strange fluid

Certainly destructive with one single touch

And as words violently

Reckless wrestled in front of me

I felt a shutter of fear

Run right through me

As I saw the young girl so lovely, but lost

She was fragile like butterfly wings and subtly cross

It scared me, she frightened me

Just seeing her face

So I closed that box with its disintegrating flaps

Pushed it away

Now as I sit here

With dirty box at side

I am warmed with a fire that burns inside

That the young girl with her sullen eyes,

She strengthened her wings and let herself fly

So this dusty container is all that is left

Of a past life, its karma met

And completed,

moved on to other things.” – Megan Marie Seaman

 


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“Bubble” by Megan Marie Seaman 11-30-2011

“Blank like a vacuumed packed

Plastic bubble

Still dry air rests inside

Undisturbed words

Rattle through this time

Unnoticed

And the firm skin of this rubbery

Sphere bounces and booms anything

That touches it

Contact made with haste

Nothing wasted

In the chance to feel touch

Something real

And it comes again

My bouncy friend

trying to break through

This bubbly gloom

Quiet silent sterile space

No trace of sound

And here comes that force again

Determined persistent

Devoted to breaking skin

Bounce…

Bounce…

Burst!

Opened within the smell of sweet cherry blossom

Blooms fill the space above deflated

Rubbery bubble

Engulfing fragrance captures

Captivates and makes

Everything right

All light and free

And dissolves into nothing.” – Megan M. Seaman


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Untitled by Megan Marie Seaman (December 2011)

“Just a word or two

And you set me free

One for you and one for me

And the party crawls up to trees

Of green serene

Below azure blue

Ten thousand times I asked of you

Questions, concerns, inquiries

Buzzing busied bumblebees

Sting with intention

Enlightening the truth

And the sweet nectar drips to an ooze

Coming and consuming, gradually

Swirling and engulfing us ‘til

The truth comes out,

Killing the doubt,

That carefully clouds up the day

April showers now gone, bring flowers of May

Can we laugh again, my friend,

In this newborn spring?

Will we move in line to the song that she sings?

Hold me close now,

No more words to be breathed

Hold on tight, here, cause the summer she flees.” – Megan M. Seaman


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Crystal Lake by Megan Marie Seaman (2011)

“100 verses I promised

In the fertile evening air

While we walked by Crystal Lake

And the moon gave us light to spare

A moment to see in each other’s eyes

Then you grabbed my hand holding tight

You ran with me hanging on

We fell down on the earth out of spite

For the waking dawn

You revealed what was in your heart

100 words that set apart

The fear and the love that

You kept inside

Your desire unraveling, coming untied

My head hit the ground, eyes gazed to the sky

Your face moving above me

So close to mine

And though it was dark, the moon, it beamed

Rays that caught glossy blue gleam

Of your eyes, again, my cherished friend

Hearts beat, beat, beat

I felt your skin

On my cheek,

longing lips meet,

and in the sweet

summer air

100 syllables, sounds, and kisses to share.” – Megan Marie Seaman